You really coming over, don't trick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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