I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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