I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
