I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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