OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize