its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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