I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
