i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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