Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
