i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
