we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
