THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
PANTIES FOUND
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
