Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
