Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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