After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
