thus making me awesome and them whores
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
