i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
