watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All I want is dick and wine.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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