She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
