Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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