I wish they made helmets for livers.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
