Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
