Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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