you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize