pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
