Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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