I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
