i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Quick, to the slutcave!
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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