Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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