bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
should my penis look like a turkey
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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