Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
