Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
