Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
