Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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