I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
