True but thats because hes a fetus.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
