Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
