Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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