i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize