If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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