When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize