I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
