idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
