His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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