No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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