look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
