I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Randomize
