is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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