I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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