DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
