i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Can I color on your dick again?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
