Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
