Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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