Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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