GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
