You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
