So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
