no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
