I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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