he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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