I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize