i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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